A what if story
by harper79
Summary: title may change What if a simple apology could change the course of one mans future?


**Starts at the end of season one episode seven – brothers in arms.**

**What if one conversation could change the course of a person's history? What if a simple apology could change a relationship? What if...?**

* * *

**Chapter One – Apologies**

**By Harper79**

**Robins POV:**

I can't help smiling as the young pair smile on happily, now officially a married couple. It's strange, in all this horror and carnage created by the sheriff there still some hope...a small ray of hope in these dark times. Looking around I can't help but smile at the joyous faces of my friends. For the first time since Roys death they look genuinely happy...all except one that is. All of a sudden my mind is drawn to the one figure not at our celebration...Allan.

_Why didn't I notice before? _Am I really so blind...so ignorant that I would leave my friend in his time of need. _I'm such an idiot! He's just lost his brother and here I am acting like its nothing..._

Quickly making my decision I head off in search of our missing member, stopping only to tell John of my whereabouts. It takes me some time but eventually I track him down by the river, he's standing there seemingly oblivious to my presence.

"Allan." He barely moves, I step up to his side, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You okay?"

He laughs, but its not his usual laughter, its humourless and dark.

"No...no I'm not." Looking at him now I can see it, he's lost...confused. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

I remove my hand from his shoulder and sigh, theres very little I can do or say right now to make it better. As a matter of fact theres nothing I can do...but maybe there is something I should say.

"Allan...I'm so sorry." He looks at me, giving me this confused glance.

"For what?" The guilt has been tearing me apart since I saw the three of them hanging there.

"Tom...I'm sorry, I should have done more." _I should have saved him._

"What are you talking about? Hang on, you seriously think this is your fault don't you?" _Thats because it is...I should have got there in time. _"I'm not being funny Rob mate but...you're an idiot!"

My head snaps round at an incredible speed and I stare at him incredulously. What the hell is he talking about?

"Rob...this isn't your fault...it isn't anybodies fault. It's just...the way things go sometimes." Well that's not what I was expecting to hear. "Honestly I wish I could blame someone, I wish I could say that it was someone's fault...you know someone besides the Sheriff...but it wasn't. If I'm going to blame anyone it'll be Tom. He was the one who stole from us...if he hadn't he might still be..."

He trails off, the pain still all too real for him right now. We settle back into silence for a while, both of us thinking hard. The guilt I previously felt is slowly disappearing now, I know that I will always feel guilt over their deaths but it helps to know that Allan does not blame me. I think that's what I was really afraid of...I was afraid of him confirming my own beliefs. There's still some guilt lying in my stomach, there's still something else I need to apologise for.

"There's something else...the plant root you swallowed, I apologise...I put your life in danger...I had not the right to do that." Its an apology I should have made a long time ago.

"Thanks...nice to hear. Although lets be fair you did warn me not to swallow it." We both fall silent for a few more moments before he speaks up again. "We should head back to the others...John'll be about ready to do his nut if we don't show up soon."

We walk back to camp, side by side...I know it will be some time before Allan is ready to move on from his brother's death but he'll be okay. I also know that my mind has been focused far too entirely on Marian and bringing down the Sheriff of late that I have been neglecting my friends. Well no more...

As we enter our camp site I feel a rush of something...I'm grateful for my friends. They didn't have to stay. Will could have gone to Scarborough with Luke and his dad, Djaq could have gone with the rest of her kin, Much was a free man when we came back from the holy land...he could have walked away and Allan had no reason to stay. He had no ties to us or to Nottingham, he'd been asked before why he had stayed with us...each time he had said 'why not?'. All of my friends had chosen to stay and fight with me...for that, I would be eternally grateful.

* * *

**Not entirely sure where this came from but it wouldn't exit my brain so I had to get it down on paper...er...computer screen :)**


End file.
